Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

When I woke up this morning I didn’t know what I was in for—we never do. We get up, shower, dress, beautify ourselves for the world, hope that no one notices our flaws or body, and walk out the door ready (or not) for the day. We hope it turns out for the best, but in reality it could be the worst day of our lives. The only thing we can do to prepare is to live life to the absolute fullest… Take every chance that is given, say yes when you would have said no, laugh, cry, scream if that’s what you have to do to show that you have passion. But most of all, be true to yourself and be genuine to those around you. I think that’s all anyone can ever ask of themselves.

For me, today started out rough. I got up early to prepare for my new work schedule that begins next week. I had every intention of staying awake and doing something productive, but that didn’t happen. I fell back asleep and woke up later than usual, causing me to have to rush in the self-care practices I have put into place to keep me functioning. Then I found out that my clothes never magically made it into the dryer and I didn’t have any of my favorite clothes to wear to work. I was stuck in either dress clothes or jeans that are uncomfortable and not really the right size. I opted for the jeans. On the way to work I hit every construction zone and red light imaginable. Needless to say, I was late.

After a lot of toy putting-together and a 3.5 hour training that meant nothing to me, I was exhausted. I felt “fat” in my jeans, which led me to feel angry about my body, weight, size, etc. All of this angst was escalated by traffic on the way to more appointments and feeling rushed again. By this time I was pretty caught up in myself and my own problems. Now you have to realize that this isn’t very difficult for me to do. I get worked up about things pretty easily, especially when I feel unheard and unappreciated.

When I walked into my group tonight, I again didn’t know what I was in for. Usually, I end up leaving these appointments more angry/sad/bitter than when I came and am beginning to question if it is even worth it. But that is a story for another time… I thought it would be the usual check-in to see how everybody is and I was ready to say that I was doing fine and then move on. I was ready to throw my chance of speaking up and saying how I feel out the window just to regret it later. So instead…

I said it.

Just like that I said how I felt. It took a lot of reassuring myself in my head, but I did it because I knew it would be worse if I didn’t. I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Someone would be mad at me. I think at this stage in the game if I can’t handle someone being mad at me than I haven’t come as far as I thought. Of course, what I wanted to say didn’t come out exactly the way I wanted it to, but then again, I don’t think it ever will. Most people always think of something better to say after they’ve said it, but that doesn’t stop everyone from saying how they feel.

For me, this step was huge. It may not seem like a lot, but it was. It’s so amazing how something so small can change someone’s outlook that much. You know what? After I talked about how I was feeling and just put all my cards out on the table, I felt much better about my day.

Life isn’t about choosing whether to wear a swimsuit in public or not. Life is about being pissed off and scared shitless to put that bathing suit on, but doing it anyway because you know it will be worth it. In 10 years no one is going to remember what I looked like in my bathing suit on August 23rd, 2010.


I guarantee it.


So whatever your bathing suit is, I challenge you to put it on this week. Love who you are for a moment. And let me know how it goes.