Most people say, “Life is what you make it.” You have the choice, the drive, the passion—whatever to make your life anything you want it to be. You are in the driver’s seat and only you know where you’re going. But what about those of us who are living life in the passenger’s seats? You know the type…backseat drivers, navigators, screaming children in the car seat, sullen teenagers tuned out from the rest of the car, people asking, “When are we gonna get there? I’m hungry. I have to use the bathroom. I think I’m going to be sick…”
I’m sure if I asked each and every one of you, you could all name someone in your life who fits each one of the descriptions I just mentioned. I know I can and I know that I would probably, at least some of the time, name myself as one of them. So, what does our place in the car say about us as people? I think this description about us speaks louder than words ever could. For example…
The Backseat Driver:
We all know at least one of these in our lives. You know, the mother who sits in the backseat and pretends not to care about what’s going on and then all of a sudden…she is screaming about how you are going too fast or you need be in a different lane, or “Can’t you hear that? Your turn signal is still on!” But then when you ask if she would like to drive {so she will just “shut up, already!”} she responds by saying something like, “Oh, no, you’re doing a great job.” Right…
These are the kind of people who direct everybody else’s lives, but not their own. They want to stand out from the crowd and take charge, but only when it pertains to someone else. I admit that I am one of these people. I am literally a backseat {or front seat or any-seat-in-the-car) diver in the car as well as in my life. It is always so easy to see the mistakes that others are making and to give advice {or demands, really) on how they can fix them. But personally, I HATE backseat drivers when I am driving. Who are you to tell me that I don’t know what I am doing? I think us backseat drivers just need a little focus and a little compassion for the people around us. We need to take that energy and put it into something to make our lives amazing.
The Navigator:
These are the people that we need in our lives. The people with the road map {or Mapquest directions or GPS} that let us know how to get to where we want to be. Navigators have a hard job. They have to know where we want to go, how long it will take to get there, how to read a map {or follow simple instructions}, and tell us where to turn at exactly the right time. They also have to put up with the drivers asking them a million questions and then hoping they have the right answers so they don’t get yelled at.
I like to think of the navigator as the driver’s best friend. The one she always counts on to be right there and ready for anything. The navigator is usually willing to be along for the ride and like what she is doing, even if she may not be so good at it. But the navigator is also the person who is too busy helping everyone else out to worry about herself. She is answering questions about other people’s lives and directing them to where they need to be. She is holding on to that control because she is afraid of trusting someone else to get the caravan to where they need to be. But what about her? Where is she going in her life? It can’t be much fun planning everyone else’s trips all the time without planning some for herself once in awhile. So to all you navigators out there…grab your own navigator and plan a fabulous trip somewhere that you really want to go and make them tell you how to get there. And about the control…try and let it go. Life is no fun without mistakes, adventure, and driving through the middle-of-nowhere without a clue as to where you are.
Screaming Children:
Now, I don’t have children of my own, but I have taken care of my share of kids. I know that when a small child does not get what he wants, he will be angry, and he will let you know. I also know that the car is a place where most children either fall asleep or scream because being strapped into a seat and given toys to play with is just not a desirable choice. Plus, the toys keep falling on the floor {okay, they were dropped…purposefully} and he needs a way of getting them back.
The screaming children in the car are the ones who will never be happy with what they have...ever. The grass is always greener on the other side and that grass isn’t as green as the grass 2 doors down. You get the picture. These people are too worried about what they don’t have that they forget what they do have. That child in the car seat has parents that love him, a car to get from place to place, toys, a home, friends, clothes; but all he can think about is that he is strapped into a seat and can’t get his toy off the floor. Obviously, at this age children cannot comprehend anything but this, but in life we adults can. Life is beautiful if you just look around and notice all you have. Make a list and you will see how great things are, even if life is crumbling around you. Plus, no one wants to hear you whine and complain. They might just drop you off on the side of the road…
Sullen Teenagers:
This is not to say that all teenagers are like this, but you know the type I am talking about. The ones that are wearing headphones with their music turned up as loud as they can tolerate, looking out the window, and conveying to everyone driving by that they are pissed at the world. They don’t answer when you try and talk to them and you can tell that they were dragged along because “this is a family vacation and you’re going to like it!”
I was probably one of these teenagers at some point in my life. I think a lot of us were. Too busy to spend time with our family because they “drive us crazy” and “our friends won’t like us if we don’t go to that party/concert/game.” The truth is, if they don’t like you for that then what kids of friend were they in the first place? Life is short. Too short to waste it being depressed over things that don’t really matter in the end. Spend time with the people who love you {and who you love}, make memories {good ones} to last a lifetime, and make the most about the situation you’re in. If you don’t like it, change it. If you can’t change it change how you look at it. It’s fascinating to see how life looks when you’re looking through glasses of a different color.
The Questioners:
Have you even been on a road trip with that bubbly 8-year-girl who can’t sit still? Who is so excited to get where you’re going that she can’t help but ask {a million times}”When are we gonna be there?” Can’t you just picture her in her pigtails, with her big toothy grin, about to bounce right off of her seat because she can’t contain herself? I know I can.
This type of people are cute {for awhile}. They seem to have so much fire inside and just can’t wait to get where they are going in life. But while they busy focusing on their destination, they are missing the journey. The scenery, the conversation, their favorite song playing on the radio. I heard a quote this morning said by John Lennon: “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” I think this quote fits perfectly. That little girl is so excited planning in her head what the trip will be like once they get there that she forgets that I trip began the minute she packed her suitcase, got in the car, and began driving. Stop planning. Enjoy the ride. And remember that the moments you spend in your head planning for the greatest adventure of your life are the ones you lose while you’re on that adventure.
So while I truly believe that life is what you make it, I also believe that life makes you. Your experiences mold you into the person you are in the present moment. Whether that be the Questioner, Navigator, or Sullen Teenager. The choices you make and the reactions you have to what life throws at you are what make you. So what are you waiting for? Load up the car, hop in the driver’s seat, and hit the road. Because driving the car of your own life is pretty sweet. You get to pick the people you ride with, the music you listen to, and how fast you go. :)
